Poor Sex in Silicon Valley

No less than Peter Thiel features called the sparkling middle of America’s technology sector a
entirely sexless destination.
But people would in reality get laid in Silicon Valley, while the program

Silicon Valley

lately dramatized. After significantly more than three seasons of existing in a sexless, screen-filled hell, bumbling programmer Richard Hendricks at long last had gender: an illegal tryst with his primary client’s fiancée, in a workplace convention area, late at night.

However, as

Silicon Valley

is actually all of our a lot of sincere, accurate portrayal of life on the list of coders, Richard wouldn’t arise a sexual dynamo. He may have eventually got to carry out intercourse on an income breathing lady, but there seemed to be no postcoital shine. “Worst gender I had,” says Liz, the woman he mauled together with his elbows. Additionally: “how often did our teeth clink?” In Addition: “When I got my personal fill up, you truly said the term ‘Gulp.'”

Was this depiction of angled, embarrassing, passionless sex truthful? The Cut asked ladies to share with you their experiences resting with men in Valley, to discover whether Richard Hendricks’s sexual efforts seemed level for the program, even worse than anything they would actually ever skilled, or, gulp, much better.

Silicon Valley

people, go ahead and steal these for then period.

“Gyno-style clinical exploration”

In older times, we dating an engineer whom appeared well-socialized sufficient … but by the point we had gotten down seriously to company, it actually was obvious i may have offered him excessively credit.

We had kissed before also it wasn’t great, but I found myself prepared to provide the second go, figuring that first-time nervousness might have obtained in the way. NOPE. Within seconds their tongue ended up being windshield-wiping my personal front teeth and trying out my personal gag reflexes via some aggressive throat pokes. After that arrived the arms. Left-hand grabbed left boob. Company squeeze. Right hand reached for correct boob, squeeze. (the guy performed involve some medical instruction … thus perhaps he believed breast exams privately turned-on women?)

After he’d duplicated this tongue/hands combination a couple of times, without warning: hands on pussy. Not for clit-caressing and/or love … this is some gyno-style medical research.

We stop this rapidly, and tried to treat it as a teachable minute, but after talking/a few even more efforts, the guy voiced he in fact desired their technical sexual approach, so we parted methods.

“the guy asked me personally if I would shower earlier”

My personal terrible sex tale with a technology bro was like interacting with the Keenan personality from Silicon Valley. He had been honestly baffled as to the reasons he had beenn’t acquiring what the guy desired, exactly at that time! It wasn’t about actual intercourse — we did not have that much — much as his demand beforehand. He was one of those brawny start up higher-ups just who seriously will get some ladies doing what he wishes. I became mainly in the day with him because he had been hot. We went home with him in which he asked me personally basically would BATHE beforehand, like that have been more normal part of society. I happened to be a tiny bit shocked but had been polite about any of it — just asserted that failed to turn me personally on and that I did not genuinely wish to get my personal tresses damp and was actually that basically a deal-breaker for him? In which he ended up being like, “it is unusual, I’ve never really had a female work very insulted by this demand. Are you going to really not try this?” Not even hostile, merely really flummoxed like no one had actually ever rejected him everything prior to.

Sooner or later I got visibly agitated and then he don’t react, only type of similar shrugged their shoulders and stated, “that is my personal important thing, i am sorry about this.” Timeless tech-bro entitlement. Thus I left. It’s a famous story among my pals.

“free of charge condoms from work”

There seemed to be that one man from Google that wouldn’t buy condoms. He recommended using the complimentary condoms from work. And yes — there had been blue, green, orange, and red types, just like Bing’s advertising.

“it had been as well odd”

I became located in San Francisco and found this person on some dating website — we hooked up regularly for about 6 months. He had been the CEO of a gaming start-up. He previously this excellent attic in S.F., which I would go to continuously, and then he in addition kept a moment apartment in New York. As we wound up in New York concurrently. Thus I moved house or apartment with him.

We walk in and contains every identical home furniture as his bay area apartment. All of it. Exactly the same carpet, equivalent weird dining-table counter. It actually was as well unusual.

We wouldn’t sleep collectively. I became similar, “I’ll have actually a glass of h2o,” and I remaining.

“most of us sync up our very own Google calendars”

I would personally break down a lot of eligible males into two camps: (1) tech/engineer bros that are brilliant but lack emotional awareness, and (2) counterculture hipsters seeking include one their unique polyamorous circumstances and NOT into main-stream interactions.

I went with a huge Tech professional for a tiny bit over a year — extremely brilliant, Ph.D. in computer system research, etc. In addition, had never been in a life threatening union longer than ten several months. Oh, and then he had never had intercourse with anyone prior to. But somehow, really into cosplay! I feel like he had been into every costume outfit in the sunshine … professor/student, handyman/housewife, football player/ref … and undoubtedly

GoT

, normally!

The polyamorous folk We have a little significantly less perseverance for, because it’s generally according to the guise of being completely renewable And Anti-Mainstream Because no-one Has Actually ever Done This Before ok? Also plenty scheduling! We continued several times with a man exactly who made an effort to push polyamory on myself (that will be different than a simple open connection, since it implies numerous simultaneous connections). The guy actually destroyed me personally during the, “Well, we-all sync up our Bing calendars” bit. Not gorgeous!

“getting jackhammered”

I believe

Silicon Valley

is actually spot-on. I think possibly the very nerdy men — like perhaps not the brogrammers, the extremely nerdy guys — are simply truly shameful during sex. I spent ten years located in the Valley — I reside in San Francisco now — and so I’ve slept using my fair share. This isn’t like a couple of dudes; it is many of them. They do not like to change it upwards. It is just like the ditto repeatedly — equivalent situation, exact same schedule, exact same motion. There is certainly this entire, like, “Wow, am I acquiring laid?” mindset in bed. I believe the most common option to explain sex with a Silicon Valley professional is jackhammered. That’s what it’s. It isn’t really intercourse. I don’t know just what this will be but it is not gender. And they are thus proud of on their own afterward, i can not actually say anything mean.

“in which’d the guy go???”

I found myself not too long ago starting up with a “friend” in technology who is particular abysmal at interaction. He would already been heading down on me personally right after which simply prevents cool and walks from bed room home. I’m experiencing truly uncomfortable and self-conscious — love,

Where’d he get???

Immediately after which we hear a wrapper being unwrapped. He’s just, like, walked away in the center of this passionate moment to get a condom on without stating EVERYTHING. I just can not picture becoming very awkward/bad at interaction that you wouldn’t resemble, “Hey, should I get a condom?” instead of just literally walking out in the center of foreplay to visit put it, specially since this is the very first time we ever endured intercourse and we realized one another pretty much. Didn’t prevent me from sleeping with him again (whoops).

“Multiple-orgasms great”

Genuinely truly the only tech man I previously installed with was … fantastic. Multiple-orgasms fantastic. However, i ought to remember that he was short rather than that wonderful and enthusiastic about their cat.